Life Unexpected Page 15

  CHAPTER 20

  Stella was insistent. “Go, go.” She crawled to the door and reached her chubby arms up toward the doorknob.

  “Okay, but first you have to let me put sunscreen on you.”

  Stella shook her head firmly to indicate “No way.”

  Corey laughed at her. They’d been at the beach long enough for Stella to learn that she liked playing on the sand and that she didn’t like the cold suntan lotion being rubbed on her. “Then we don’t go,” Corey said. Stella started whining.

  “Just come here and then we can go,” said Corey. Stella looked at the door, then at her mother, and then back at the door. Finally, with a resigned air, she crawled quickly into Corey’s outstretched arms.

  After covering the squirming child with lotion, Corey left a note for Diane—who’d gone into Port Saint Joe to do some shopping—and grabbed everything they’d need for the beach. She loaded the umbrella, a chair, Stella’s bag of beach toys, two towels, and a cooler filled with drinks and snacks into the beach wagon Diane had purchased for them. Corey put a big, white floppy hat on Stella’s head.

  “No,” Stella said, and immediately pulled the hat off.

  “We won’t go until the hat is on,” Corey said firmly. Finally, after a few more minutes, Stella allowed the hat to be put on, and Corey placed Stella in the wagon and started toward the beach.

  Corey reflexively checked the MacKinnon house as they went along. She noted with satisfaction that the blinds were still closed. They’d walked fifty feet or so when Corey realized that Tripp’s vehicle was parked underneath, and the back hatch was open. Tripp must have just arrived and was still unloading, but she didn’t see him anywhere. For a moment, Corey considered turning back, but she knew that Stella would pitch one of her major fits if she were to try to turn back now. Maybe if they hurried, they could get to the beach before Tripp returned. Once they were on the beach, he might not recognize them. Corey thought they were safe when they’d reached the side of the house without any sign of Tripp. But just at that last second before they reached the beach path, the downstairs storage door opened, and there he was staring straight at them, practically face-to-face.

  “Well, hello,” Tripp said, walking out to greet them. “I finally get to meet the smartest and the best baby that ever was.”

  “Sounds like Diane’s been talking to you,” Corey answered.

  “She is one proud aunt.” Tripp reached his hand out to Stella, who immediately turned away from him and reached for her mother.

  “She’s shy with strangers,” Corey apologized, picking her up.

  “Here, let me help you take your stuff down to the beach. Maybe she’ll loosen up in a minute and let me see her.”

  “That’s okay, you’ve just arrived. I’m sure you want to finish unloading.”

  “There’s nothing that can’t wait.” Tripp walked over and closed the back of his Yukon, then took the beach wagon from Corey’s hand.

  “Okay, if you insist.”

  “I do.”

  They walked in silence down to the beach. Every once in a while, Stella would lift her head to see if Tripp was still there, and seeing that he was, she would immediately put her head back down against Corey’s chest. When they arrived at a good spot, Corey said, “Would you mind dumping the toys out on the sand?”

  “Not at all.” Tripp took the bag of beach toys and dumped them. Then he started digging a hole for the umbrella and set up the chair.

  Corey turned so that Stella could see the toys. Stella released Corey’s neck immediately and started saying, “Down, down.”

  Corey obliged Stella by placing her on the sand and handing her a shovel. “Thanks,” Corey said, indicating the umbrella that Tripp had just put into place. “I always have a difficult time getting it in right.”

  “I remember,” Tripp said. “May I join you?”

  “Sure,” Corey said, “but I only brought one chair.”

  “Sand works.”

  “Here, at least use a towel.” Corey had known this day was going to come sooner or later, so she supposed she might as well get it over with today. She hoped Tripp couldn’t hear her heart beating loudly in her chest. “Oh yeah, I haven’t seen you since you got married. Congratulations. I hope I’ll get to meet Lucy while I’m here.”

  “She’ll be down tomorrow. She had some nurse party to go to tonight.”

  Stella was turned away from them so that the brim of the hat hid her face. Contented, she very patiently filled her shovel and dumped the sand into her bucket. “I think I’m going to have to buy a sandbox for home. She absolutely loves playing in the sand.”

  “How’s motherhood going?”

  “It’s had its difficult moments, I won’t lie, but it’s been the most amazing adventure. Just when I think I’ve got it figured out, Stella changes and I go back to square one.”

  Tripp sat there, silent for a minute. “We haven’t told Diane and Jack yet, but Lucy’s pregnant. I’m sure she will have tons of questions for you.”

  Corey’s breath caught in her chest. “Wow, congratulations.”

  “Thanks, I’m really looking forward to being a father.”

  Stella, who’d been totally absorbed in sand play, suddenly remembered that she had on the dreaded hat. She reached up and pulled it off. Her blonde curls glinted like gold in the late-afternoon sun. “No,” she said, looking directly at her mother and daring her to put the hat back on her head.

  “She can’t stand that hat.” Corey laughed at her bravado before noticing that Tripp was looking at Stella with the strangest look on his face. When he kept staring at Stella, and several more minutes had passed, Corey felt nervous. “Tripp?”

  “She’s my daughter,” Tripp said flatly. It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact.

  Corey felt anxiety hit her so hard and swiftly that she finally knew how it felt to have a full-blown panic attack. “I, well . . .” Corey couldn’t think of what she should say next.

  “In my parents’ bedroom, there’s a picture of me sitting on the beach at about that age, and I feel like I’m looking at that picture right now.” Tripp turned toward Corey. “I had my suspicions when Diane told me you were pregnant.” Suddenly Tripp’s face was furious. “Why in the hell didn’t you tell me?”

  “I’m sorry” was all Corey could manage to get out.

  “Don’t say ‘I’m sorry’ like you just spilled a drink on me!”

  Finally, she found her voice. “I think I was in shock at first. Luke and I had tried to have a baby for a long time, and I was unable to get pregnant. It never occurred to me that I might get pregnant that night. Then, when I was, I was confused and afraid.”

  “Afraid of me? You know me!”

  “Oh come on, Tripp. We had spent six or seven hours together after not having seen each other for years. I really didn’t know you all that well.”

  “But we grew up together. For God’s sake, as a friend, didn’t I at least deserve a courtesy call from you to tell me, ‘By the way, Tripp, I thought you might want to know, I’m having your baby’?”

  Corey felt tears streaming down her face. “Yes, I know now that’s what I should have done. I was incredibly selfish and . . . wrong not to have told you. I wanted to tell you when you came to Atlanta. And I’ve almost called you a hundred times since Stella was born. Believe me—I was trying to think about what was best for everyone.”

  “Yeah, what about Atlanta? I drove all the way up there to see you. I had this hunch that something was wrong. But you convinced me that everything in your life was perfect, happening just as you had planned, and just how you wanted it to happen.”

  Stella seemed oblivious to the turmoil going on behind her. “I was scared,” Corey said again.

  “Of what?” Tripp asked harshly. “That things might get messy and ruin your perfectly choreographed life? Or that I might have feelings for you?”

  “No,” Corey said quietly. “That you wouldn’t.”

  Tripp look
ed at her strangely. “What?”

  “I was in love with you when I went to Auburn. But you never even noticed. It hurt like hell when you became involved with Martha Anne. I thought I’d never get over it. But I did, finally. That night in Atlanta, you never said anything about how you felt about me, only that you wished we could have seen how things developed, and I was afraid of taking a chance again, of getting hurt again.”

  Tripp looked stunned.

  Corey added slowly, “Plus, I was still grieving Luke’s loss when I found out I was pregnant. My boss sent me to Florida in the first place because he thought I was about to collapse or have a nervous breakdown or something. I wasn’t thinking too clearly when I decided to pretend Stella was Luke’s. I mean, I talked it over with my ficus tree—that’s how crazy I was at that time.”

  Corey paused for a moment and gathered her thoughts. “Besides, it’s always easier to stay where you are and to keep doing what you’re used to doing. Still, after you left Atlanta, I decided the right thing to do was to tell you. I planned to drive down to Dothan on New Year’s weekend and tell you everything. I couldn’t go any earlier because of work. But then Diane called and told me you had asked Lucy to marry you at Christmas.”

  Tripp ran his hand through his hair in an agitated movement. “I decided it was time to get on with my life. I wanted children. I told you that in Atlanta.”

  “Yeah,” Corey said sadly, the tears still falling unchecked. “I just didn’t know that you were ready to move on so quickly. But even when I was planning my drive down to Dothan to tell you the truth, I couldn’t get anything to add up right. What was going to happen once the baby was born? Would we shuttle her back and forth between us? I couldn’t imagine you living in Atlanta or me living here. Would that really have been the best thing for Stella?”

  Stella crawled over to Corey, sandy and smelly. “Poo, poo,” Stella said.

  “I’ve got to go up to the house and change her.” Corey wiped the tears from her face with the bottom of her shirt. “Please think about what’s best for everyone before you decide what you’re going to do next. We’ve got to think about Stella, Lucy, and now the baby Lucy’s going to have.”

  “Damn it, Corey, I feel cheated. She’s beautiful, and I want to be a part of her life.”

  “We’ll figure something out. Just don’t tell everyone the truth now.”

  “Don’t you think other people will see what I saw?”

  “People see what they want to see,” Corey said earnestly. “Luke’s mother thinks Stella looks just like her sister, Margie. And Diane thinks Stella looks just like our mother. If you get rid of that baby picture of yours, no one will ever suspect. Please, Tripp, I’m begging you.”

  “Okay, I won’t say anything right now. But I’m making no promises about tomorrow.”

  CHAPTER 21

  Corey tossed and turned all night and was grateful when she heard Stella stirring because it gave her a reason to finally get up. Stella was playing happily with her feet, and Corey felt such a rush of love that she didn’t know if she could bear being apart from her if Tripp were to demand joint custody. Stella saw her and immediately pulled herself up to the side of the bed. “Down, down,” she said.

  After changing her, Corey carried Stella downstairs for breakfast. She was just getting started with the cereal and bananas when Diane walked into the kitchen and went straight for the coffee.

  “DiDi,” Stella said, reaching her arms out toward her aunt.

  “I think she wants her aunt Diane to feed her,” Corey said.

  “I’m barely awake myself, but how could I refuse that sweet face?”

  Corey allowed Diane to take her place in the chair in front of Stella. She watched for a minute or two and then looked out the window at the beautiful morning. “If it’s okay with you, I’m going to go take a run. I still have that last little bit of baby weight to get off.”

  “Yeah,” Diane said, laughing. “Good luck, I’ve been trying to get mine off for the past fourteen years.”

  Corey ran furiously down the back beach road as far as the El Governor Motel and then decided to return walking along the beach. It was still early, probably only seven or so. She wondered if Tripp had gone fishing or was even up yet. When she started to walk up the beach path, she was relieved to see him sitting at a table, drinking coffee on his front deck. Corey waved at him, and he held up a hand in return. Although he wasn’t exactly ushering her up, she took it as a welcoming sign and went up the stairs.

  “I’ve been going crazy wondering what you were thinking,” Corey said. “I didn’t sleep a wink last night.”

  “Me neither,” said Tripp. “You want some coffee or water?”

  “Water would be great,” Corey said. When Tripp started to get up, she said, “Just sit, I’ll get it.”

  “There are bottles in the door of the refrigerator.”

  Corey was stunned by the transformation inside the beach house. The brown shag carpet had been replaced with a tweedy Berber, and the paneled walls had been painted a turquoise blue. Oars were crossed behind the sofa. And a very expensive-looking brass barometer hung on the wall across from the breakfast bar. Corey reached into the brand-new white refrigerator for a bottle of water and longed for the old avocado-colored appliances. The inside now looked like any picture of a beach house you would find in a Southern Living or House Beautiful magazine. It was not the beach house of her childhood anymore. The unknown Lucy is responsible for these changes to the house, Corey thought unhappily, and walked back outside. She sat down next to Tripp, took a long swig of water, and waited for him to say something.

  Finally, after a minute or two, Tripp said, “All my life, I’ve believed that if you really analyze something, look at all of the facts, you’ll know the right thing to do. When Martha Anne and I decided to get a divorce, I knew it was the right thing for both of us. When my mother’s mental state started deteriorating rapidly, in spite of my father’s very strong objections, I knew the right thing was for her to go to an assisted-living facility where she could get the care she needed. But for the first time in my life, I can’t decide what the right thing is, and it’s got me all twisted up inside.”

  “I know. That’s why when I found out—” Corey began, but Tripp interrupted her.

  “Don’t say anything,” Tripp warned her. “I’m talking about the right thing to do now, not when you first found out you were pregnant.”

  “Okay,” Corey said in a quiet voice, and she felt strangely calm and unemotional. She had been trying to do the right thing. Why couldn’t he see her side?

  “I feel torn apart,” Tripp continued. “I have a beautiful baby daughter, and I want to be her father and see her grow up. Yet, I don’t want Stella to be labeled illegitimate. I don’t want her to be subjected for the rest of her life to the kind of gossip that small towns thrive on. I also have to think about Lucy. I can’t imagine what hearing this kind of news might do to her.”

  Although Corey had begged Tripp to think about Lucy yesterday on the beach, hearing him so concerned about Lucy’s happiness now suddenly really irritated her.

  “So what’s the bottom line here? Are we making some sort of grand announcement today, or are we continuing the status quo?” Corey’s voice sounded hard and sharp even to her ears.

  Tripp looked at her coldly. “Neither. I’m not going to tell the truth today. But I want a relationship with my daughter. I want to see her regularly and have a say in the important decisions in her life. And when she’s older, and I don’t know what age that will be, I want her to know the truth. Do you accept my terms?”

  The lawyer in Corey surfaced. “I want our terms to be clear before I agree to anything. What do you mean, ‘regularly’?”

  “You’ll agree to bring her to the beach for at least two weeks every summer. And I’ll be allowed to come to Atlanta whenever I can arrange it to see her. In between, you’ll e-mail me updates and pictures.”

  If Corey agreed to these terms
, she was agreeing that her life would be forever intertwined with Tripp’s. But then, she supposed, her life had become permanently intertwined with his the moment she’d given birth to his daughter.

  “I agree,” she finally said. “I hope you realize that you’re going to have to pretend to be friends with me in front of Diane, Jack, Lucy, and everyone in order for this to work.”

  Tripp looked at her, and something electric passed between them. “That’s what makes this so damned hard, Corey! In spite of how angry I am with you right now, I still care about you. When we were kids, you were one of my best friends. At times I’ve wondered if there wasn’t something more than friendship there. But now friendship is all we can have, and that’s what we’ve got to sell to the group.”

  And just like that, Corey’s calm, unemotional state evaporated. “Diane’s going to be wondering what happened to me,” she said as the tears began falling freely down her face. She thought for a moment Tripp was going to say something more to her, but he just nodded, and Corey ran down the stairs, wiping the tears from her face with the bottom of her shirt.

  Diane was upstairs with Stella when Corey entered the beach house. She checked her face in the bathroom before going upstairs, where Diane was trying to wrestle Stella into a swimsuit.

  “Have a good long run?” Diane asked.

  “I have to confess I walked half the time; I’m still trying to get back into shape.”

  “I was thinking you were gone longer than usual. I was also thinking about having a fish fry tonight. What about inviting Tripp and Lucy and Fran and Mark for dinner? Does that sound like fun to you?”

  “Sure. I think it’s about time I met Lucy.”